So what happens now?

There's six hours between us, but lately it's seemed like the distance isn't the only obstacle. We don't talk half as much as we used to, and it's become clear that nothing is clear for us at the moment. We're both confused, along with the rest of the world that is our age and alone.

I don't want to be alone. That's what it comes down to, really. I don't know what's best for me or for you, but I don't think we are the answer for each other just yet. It's too damn hard. I want someone. It's not a matter of needing. I can live without someone, but I don't want to. I shouldn't have to.

It's been nearly three years since I've had someone. That's a fucking long time to be waiting, and what has come from this waiting anyway?

Nothing, really.

I have some of the best friends in the world, and I like to think of us as a group being closer than normal friends, even in our numbers. We can all talk about our problems freely, even if it is the lighter side of three in the morning and we're all half zombified from lack of sleep. But even if we are all close, we're still undoubtedly *just friends*. I like my *just friends*, but sometimes I want more. No, that's a lie, I always do.

And I think it sounds selfish a lot of the time. It does, really. But I feel a little bit out of the loop sometimes. Nobody, well, in Feilding, that is, seems to have an interest in me. At the risk of sounding whiny, it's not fair.

No, reader, it's not your fault (especially if you're Alex), I'm not saying "Oh, take me home, please, settle for me!", I'm saying "If you do actually like me, please make it known to me." I doubt there is anyone that does, but it's worth a shot, right?

Please don't think I'm at the point where I'll accept anyone. I won't. But, truth is, I do like a lot of people. Chances are, reader, you're one of them. Makes me seem desperate, I know, but I'm past caring.