Heart to heart conversations...

...they always only happen in the wee hours of the morning.

The longer you talk, the deeper you go. You start with dreams, you move to fears, you move to family and friends and problems and solutions and confessions and conflict and agreement and similarities and differences and understandings or lack thereof. It has been months and months since I had a real heart to heart conversation with anyone, so Thursday night was special to me.

The thing I took from it that meant the most? We are two people. Those who feel selfish for having easy lives, and those who feel bad for telling about their hard lives. I am one of the selfish ones. Most of us in the conversation were. And all the while through that part of the conversation, I thought of you. Truth is, I think about you a lot. You've had such a hard life, and I feel like I've helped with at least some of it. I've tried to.

We need to have more of these heart to heart to heart to heart to heart to heart conversations, and give the tired one some V so she can participate in them. I haven't heard enough about her life. I don't know her as well as I'd like to.

Surprisingly, our conversation has not made me think differently about any of my friends; it has just provided me with a deeper understanding of things I already knew about in one way or another. I think we're all closer now, really.

If there's one thing I've been taught, it's that optimism is the best meds for sadness. I talked to a friend today that hasn't contacted me except fleetingly for a very long time, and she has changed. She is optimistic, and she has inspired me to change as well.

All my friends are amazing, whether they believe it themselves or not.